cam star & ode to seroquel

cam star

if my boyfriend sells his body online,
swivels his hips for a dollar
hydrates a thirsty stranger 
for a couple dollars—

he’s a businessman,
angel to the horny.

spreading legs & stroking cock,
busting nuts, everybody!

when he bared his chest for free, 
allowed hungry eyes to burrow 
their lips in his fur, i knew

it was only a matter of time
until my sex-shy, quiet, 
d&d loving boyfriend
knocked the air out of me.

sucker punched & strangled
in the middle of the street, i wonder

how many men & women kissed his ass 
after i wished him goodnight?

cam star, cum star, 
he fires bullets at me 
& claims he’s shooting stars.

i wish, i wish, i wish
i didn’t have to sleep—

with a foreign mouth 

tonguing the pixels

of my man’s charity dick.

ode to seroquel

priestess of the antipsychotic, 
adopted sister to my family tree 

of medications, i pray: 

slow the speeding 
car of my brain, protect 

its flimsy from wreck. 
o, gods of pharmacology—

force me to swallow 
every prescribed enemy

the gumball 
machine of health spits.

i’d rather pluck pansies
off grindr than sleep & dream of love 

running like an unleashed dog
into alien arms.

i floss the shred 
of tangerine between my teeth,

massage salt into my cheeks,
lather & dull the sharp blade

of rigid skin with lotion.

peach & apricot sugar scrub

stings—
tingles—
numbs—